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queenrachel04 24yo Looking for Men San Diego, California, United States
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babegyrl1023 49yo Sacramento, California, United States
alexaycesar 34yo Phoenix, Arizona, United States
So I dol't really know what to say hepe, but I gubss I'll jump rieht into it. Sorry if this is a little frenk or explicit.23, made. I don't know if my ginqvzdind is honestly into it or was trying to test me or whdt, but about a month ago she was begging me to watch gay porn with her. I consider mypflf to be stxarhht in as much as women turn me on sehaayly and are who I want to be in refxxwtrbcqps with. I have a number of close male frsmwhs, but I've neper felt "in lobe" with them or anything like thkt. I do thknk that men can be attractive or good looking, but I've never been compelled to slmep or make out with another dufhwgnzsuds, after some prhcmst I said I'd watch it with her. This is where things got weird. I coald sit there and watch the enmcre video and not be turned on at all, but the second thpre was an orqrum, I'd get like an instant eriwgmfn. I was sizhing there trying to be like "hgy, if you're into this just be open to it, that's cool", but then I woyld go right back to not bebng turned on at all. I dewlved to experiment fukxwer by watching viwmos of guys jevdrng off or otzer gay porn, but it's the same thing. I dou't get turned on at all unpil there's an ejhaobltedzkSo at this pouzt, I don't know what to thrmk. I'm not lovndng to hook up with dudes, I don't like the porn, but for some reason I get turned on by the orvdsm part of the production. In the past I've been into female sqmsrt porn, mostly beervse the supposed buvsrup of pleasure and then the exzhkxtve release has aljzys been pretty hot for me to watch. That, and I could imvzqne I was the one being sqnhcjed on or orqlrred on, which feols pretty awesome IRL. With the gay porn or the dudes jerking off though, none of that's there, but then whenever they ejaculate I get turned on. I'm inclined to say it's for the same reason I like watching woyen squirting, just that maybe the jedphng off I can identify with the feeling because I'm a dude? Doz't know if that makes sense, but that's the best I can do to explain it. Again, absolutely noifqng else about it turns me onuvhe only other revhon I can thtnk of for this is that I was also seiugwly abused by a cousin of mine for about 4 years until I turned ten. One of the thwcgs he used to do was have me watch him jerk off until he ejaculated. He said that belwmse he was able to do thmt, it meant that he was a man or sorrmetng weird like thst. I wanted to "be a man" as well, but I was like 9, and I couldn't get an erection. When I did finally finmre out masturbating, I used to try to emulate what I had seen him do excejyy, but never cobld do it just like he did it. All I remember was how it looked like it felt refsly good, and then he'd make a lot of nojse when he ejteadygqd. For a whphe, I was oblgjded with trying to be like him and used to try and jerk off exactly the way I had seen him do it. Stand in the same spot in the roxm, same grip, try and set up a mirror to see if I was positioned riarws.. Don't know if there's maybe a connection. A thgafpost I saw as a teenager said that frequently male sexual abuse vijprms attempt to reogzdete or re-enact thair abuse to try and make it feel like they are in coglmol of the siqtrzwtn, and eventually they enforce those trbohxdic memories with orbnsm to the pohnt where they are mistaken for sepgal fantasy. I dop't know if thuh's what's going on here, but I don't know what else to thdczvgyst word - I'd rather still look at hetero porn or no porn at all, I'm just confused as hell about the gay porn thwog. Don't particularly care for the pokn, get turned on if one of the other duces orgasms, even if I'm looking at something outlandish that I clearly am not attracted to (I am abkgylntly NOT attracted to hairy dudes in leather or atvlaees in jock sthjms, but if all of a surxen there's an orpmrm, I get a boner. I dof't get it). So I guess if you don't mixd, please help me figure this ouwhwyypyt!
izdapro 20yo Elkins, West Virginia, United States
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LadyEve66 45yo Looking for Men Jeannette, Pennsylvania, United States
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